The Education of Me: A Tour Through My Personal Journals and How I’m Learning Purpose

​I came to a point where I was beating myself over each passing day that I didn’t blog and then I realized how much I have been WORKING it in my life. 

Having an intern of me summer is all about making your own rules. It’s about not letting anything control your professional development. It’s about not being career- shamed into making decisions that aren’t the best for you and the way you work,  so if I decided to take a much needed hiatus from blogging to figure out and ENJOY my life… That is totally consistent with the intern of me goals I had for this summer to explore,  to challenge myself, to make mistakes,  to be genuine with my creativity. 

All that being said,  I could never stop writing. During these last few weeks,  I have been writing a ton in my journal and I just haven’t had the time/will to share it. So, in this post you’ll be getting updates through my personal journal entries. These are the questions I’ve been asking, the ideas I’ve been considering and the people who have been inspiring me! 

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6/7/2016

I keep getting mixed up on what I want because I want so many things. I want to hold awesome discussions,  read books,  travel,  immerse myself in subjects that interest me… I just need to stay on top of everything. Where am I headed? 

What are the things I want to present on? 

Race/Diversity,  Wokeness, Working in Diverse Spaces,  Self Love,  Confidence,  Unconventional Living and Unconventional Career Options

6/10

The more I think about business and branding the more I wonder if I am losing my flair by doing too much prep work. Time to start finding things as Sue Monk Kidd always says. I’ll figure it out as I go. 

Only passions,  great passions,  can elevate the soul to great things. -Denis Diderot

Nothing great has ever been achieved without enthusiasm.  – Ralph Waldo Emerson

6/11/2016

God is working on my heart. More of what I want is clear. I just want a job I love- one that is meaningful, enough time to read books and learn,  enough time to begin projects I love and keep them in my life. I want a church family,  a close connection with my friends and my lover,  a greater understanding of my own family- a changed heart,  a giving spirit. I want to learn responsibility. I want to live a life of understood adventure, of intentional joy and gratefulness. Guide me to the exact people/places I am meant to be. 

6/13

My values are different here in Sweden. I appreciate a beautiful day,  backdropped by almost indulgent clouds because I know that I will be able to see beautiful fields of green,  lakes,  animals,  etc. I have had many moments of peace but my favorite has to be the few moments I spent in my boyfriends father’s front yard. I sat in a chair, kicked off my shoes and imagined what my life would be like if I lived there. What would it mean to live in such a beautiful,  private place? A place that beckons you to relax and reconsider whats important. 

6/13

Sometimes I feel like I’m so far behind- like everyone is living life with purpose except for me. I know what gives me joy but I have a hard time translating that into a known,  intentional vocation. God, please,  guide me. Help me to trust you and stay focused on my path. 

I want to get back to that place where I just create to create! Where Poetry can’t help but escape me and ideas must be penned just to change a world view or make a friend. 

I kicked off my shoes, 

The grass kissed by dew

But I didn’t mind the damp that

My toes squished into

Because I was in such a beautiful place. 

6/16/2016

I think I know what’s missing- the enjoyment I’ve been trying to make money but when it comes down to it,  I was focusing more on money I could make and not the actual life I want to lead,  the person I want to become. 

Theres a part of me that just wants to enjoy. I am in college right now- I can relax and learn things I love and have great discussions and do great work now. I don’t have to worry so much about the future because it is not yet time for me to cement a lot of things. It is really time to consider. 

I AM in the business of Storytelling. I help people to effectively tell and be empowered by stories that will guide them to a life worth living BECAUSE STORIES ARE WHAT CONNECT PEOPLE! Yes. That’s it. I love connecting and stories help people to connect. I am a storyteller but I am also a collector of stories that empower and instruct which is why I love the parts of travel,  the parts of work, the parts of life that allow me to hear and learn stories. 

“Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very formal language. Don’t stretch for the answers because you wouldn’t be able to live them. And the point is,  to live everything. Live the questions now.”

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And that’s what I’m doing now- living the questions. I have determined that the best possible platform for my talents (at least to start out) would be student affairs. I love my current job as an RA and have always admired the energetic, values based culture of Student Affairs and my goal is to really hone in on that. I want to work in Diversity/Social Justice, Career Development or Housing/Residence Life and inspire students and campuses to have discussions that matter about who we are,  why were here and how we can each contribute. The rest of my internofme summer will be spent planning some workshops I was booked for in the fall concerning diversity and professional development, creating a plan for graduation,  performing informational interviews (I still do one every week),  networking with exciting people and reading books that will help me to better myself as a professional and as a student. 

My question for you is: What are your plans for your life? How have you come to know what you’re meant to do… Or are you still searching?

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